The movies are Kim¡¯s vocation and a powerful motivation for him, and he gets to make the kind of films he likes. But that doesn¡¯t mean every moment is a delight. As a director, he has to pour himself into every stage of the filmmaking process.
While he¡¯s working on the screenplay, Kim has to concentrate on the dialogue, situations and characters. Once filming begins, he has decisions to make about every aspect of the movie―locations, roles, extras and even hairstyling and makeup. Kim is responsible for providing the staff and cast with timely and accurate direction and can¡¯t help wincing when actors look uncertain about his directions. Then he has to go through the endless process of making choices in the editing and mixing stages.
¡°The sheer number of decisions I have to make is exhausting, especially since I¡¯m often not sure about things myself. I¡¯m in a time crunch, with a hundred staffers waiting for my signal, and I have to sign off on all kinds of things. It feels like carrying around a ticking time bomb. So I¡¯m loaded down with anxiety and worry until the movie comes out,¡± Kim explains.
Kim sometimes longs to leave the film industry because of disillusionment about making movies, shame about how he struggles to feel happy about doing something he loves and the unimproving results. But not surprisingly, movies are what inspire him to move again. ¡°Watching a good movie helps with self-reflection. That¡¯s when I realize I have no excuse for feeling disillusioned about these great works of cinema and regain the desire to make movies that follow in their footsteps.¡±
Whenever Kim shakes off those worries and takes on a new challenge, films remind him of why it¡¯s all worth doing through landscapes, acting, camera movements and even something as simple as a beam of light. ¡°There are times when I just gaze in wonder at what we film. Those are times when we capture superhuman acting, an enchanting landscape, or a charming rhythm. I find myself just whispering, ¡®That¡¯s insane!¡¯ All the thrills were created by nature and the artists, not by me.¡±
Kim spent some incredible days at the Cinémathèque Française in Paris, the mecca of cinema, last year. He held a master class and a retrospective on his oeuvre in the city where his dream first bloomed. The best day of his life, Kim says, was when he had a seat reserved with his name engraved on it in the theater where he¡¯d once imagined his films might someday be screened.