The holidays are when relatives come together to strengthen family ties while visiting the graves of their ancestors to give thanks and reflect on their memories. When families who are spread far and wide come together, they ask about each other and visit the graves of their ancestors to pay their respects. Due to COVID-19, however, visiting gravesites with relatives and conducting family gatherings have become difficult.

A Beautiful Tradition

The Korean Funeral Culture & Policy Institute (KFCP) has developed a virtual space for families to conduct visits to ancestral gravesites through a social media network-based system. KFCP Director Ko Kyung-suk explained why his organization created the new system, saying ¡°visiting ancestral gravesites is a beautiful custom of the Korean people. It¡¯s an element of our culture that we must preserve and sustain. The KFCP developed a new system for people to conduct ancestral gravesite visits virtually so they can conduct these visits in a contact-free way.¡±

He admitted there had been concerns about the new system given that visiting ancestral gravesites in person is such an old custom. ¡°Korea¡¯s holidays are focused on bringing families together in one place to strengthen family ties while paying respects to ancestors at their gravesites,¡± he said. ¡°Conducting the ancestral grave visits online does not give families the opportunity to meet each other, which we worried could tarnish the fundamental meaning of the holiday.¡± Ko convincingly explained, however, that the new online system is focused on ensuring people who cannot visit ancestral graves because of COVID-19 have a way to do so. He also noted that the system is a must-have for Koreans living abroad.

A user looks around a personalized online memorial hall.

A family conducts online memorial rites.© MBC NEWSDESK

Overcoming COVID Limits

After a great deal of careful thought, the KFCP developed the online system to ensure that the virtual visits would become not just another formality―a concern voiced by some people. The system allows people to set up their own ancestral rites tables and gives them the opportunity to ask burial sites for images of where the bodies of their ancestors are laid. Through the system, people can pay their respects to their ancestors through writing, recordings or video, and family members can ask each other questions or share well-wishes.

The system, which first began operation during Chuseok last year, now has a total of 470,000 users as of July of this year. Explaining why so many people have chosen the system, Ko said, ¡°Given the difficulties for families to gather because of COVID-19, the service has overcome the limitations placed on families and relatives for meeting physically and provides them with a new place to gather.¡± Much of the distrust toward the online system has vanished as well.

As this shows, the online system is on its way to establishing itself as a new custom for Chuseok. ¡°We continue to receive requests asking us to continue operating the online system,¡± Ko said. ¡°We plan to further finetune the system so it can become yet another custom for the holiday.¡±

Ipek Damla Jang, a native of Turkey, first arrived in Korea five years ago. She came to Korea as a foreign student out of her interest in the Korean language, charmed by its similarities with the Turkish language. She studied for one and a half years in Korea, keeping herself busy studying, working part-time and socializing with new friends. She had little time to feel homesick or lonely, but during the holidays, she became keenly aware how much she missed her family and how far away from home she was.

Every time a long holiday approached, one or two colleagues at work would seek Ipek out. They wanted her to cover for their shift since they knew she would still be in Seoul, while nearly all of her Korean friends would be out of town visiting their hometowns for the holidays.

Realizing the significance of major holidays in Korea, Ipek gladly took their shifts. Being stuck at work by herself only added to her loneliness. Nevertheless, Korean holidays seemed like pleasant and warm occasions, at least according to her friends¡¯ descriptions. Returning friends usually said they ate and chatted with family and relatives they hadn¡¯t seen in a long while. A few friends would bring some holiday dishes from their home for Ipek to try.

Ipek met her husband in Korea.

Ipek poses for a family photo.

No Longer a Stranger

After finishing her studies in Korea, Ipek returned to Turkey, but three months later she returned, albeit with a different legal status. She was no longer a foreign student but a Korean citizen―and married. After marrying a Korean man she had met while living in Korea, she decided to settle down permanently in the country.

Ipek gained a new family, a new name and the title myeoneuri, which means ¡°daughter-in-law.¡± Her parents-in-law treated her warmly like a daughter, but becoming part of her new family didn¡¯t feel real. Spending her first holiday at her in-law¡¯s place, however, changed all that. During this time, she went to the market with her in-laws and prepared food for the ancestral rite commonly performed on Korea¡¯s major holidays. Thus, she no longer felt like a stranger, but a family member with a shared culture.

To Ipek, her husband and his family are her only family in Korea. However, she cannot visit them often because they live far away, and COVID-19 has made matters worse. She wants her Korean and Turkish families to dote on her two-year-old son, but she cannot visit either, much to her frustration.

Things are looking up though. She is now very much looking forward to the upcoming Chuseok, Korea¡¯s major autumn holiday, when Korean families gather at long last to celebrate the occasion with a feast.